‘How healthy is your relationship with poker?’

It's not a question people ask themselves very often, but it's a crucial one. Healthy relationships are balanced, help us perform at our best, and make us generally happier.

But they require a lot of dedication to maintain and can quickly become unhealthy, destructive obsessions if we aren't careful.

Today, we'll examine the importance of having a healthy relationship with poker and consider what one might look like.

What Determines an Unhealthy Poker Relationship?

Flamingos are pink because their diet causes them to change colour. They aren’t affected too much by their new look, but it’s a fun reminder of the following:

Moderation is essential, as it is vital to a healthy relationship.

Building a Healthy Personal Relationship with Poker
Building a Healthy Personal Relationship with Poker

Playing too many poker games can typically signal that someone has a toxic relationship with the game, but it’s not the only symptom.

Other red flags are the following:

  • Jealousy
  • Dishonesty
  • A decline in your physical and mental health
  • And there are many others, too

Not that these traits are always a tell-tale sign of a problem.

Consider jealousy: It’s normal to wish it was you when you see someone shipping one of those big, world poker tournaments. But being overcome with bitterness or anger is alarming, especially towards friends.

Some symptoms are more damning than others, however, and are particularly worrying signs:

  • Lying about your losses
  • Lying about how much you play
  • Regularly sacrificing sleep
  • Missing work to stay at the tables

There’s a fine line between passion and obsession, so it can be hard to spot an unhealthy balance sometimes.

Poker is a selfish game where players profit from others’ poker hand mistakes to make matters worse.

Building a Healthy Personal Relationship with Poker
Building a Healthy Personal Relationship with Poker

So, it’s unlikely another poker player will feel compelled to help you if they hear any alarm bells ringing.

That said, people often look at things more impartially from the outside. So, if anyone tells you either of the following, it's time to take a good look in the mirror.

  1. You're playing too much
  2. Your mood is off

Whether healthy or not, our relationship with poker affects us in many ways.

It can impact the quality of our social lives, financial situation, and physical and mental health.

Let’s take a look at some of them now.

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship Self-Control

One of the positive effects of a well-balanced poker relationship is an improvement in emotional self-control. Being in this healthy frame of mind helps strong poker players ignore negative emotions and manage tilt – poker lingo for “losing it”- better.

This process encourages better decisions and more profit when playing. But it can also be beneficial in life away from the table, helping you think before you act and stay cool under pressure.

These tools can improve the following:

  • Your performance at work
  • Help you stick to a healthy diet
  • Work out more
  • Generally, make better decisions across the board
Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Self-Control
Healthy Poker Personal Relationship Self-Control

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Self-Destruction

On the other hand, an unhealthy relationship with poker can cause impulsiveness, ruining our healthy equilibrium. This scenario can make us more prone to tilt on a wet or dry poker board and amplify its impact.

For example, when down-swinging, an improper life balance can make us more likely to play too much when things aren’t going our way. This situation increases the time under stress, affecting our mood and mental health.

It also uses time we could spend on healthy decompression modes, like hanging out with friends or working out.

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Self-Destruction
Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Self-Destruction

In this case, it can be easy to get caught in a cycle of self-sabotage, where we play poorly, lose, and then look for comfort. Many people who look to blame something or someone else to make them feel better hit the poker tables.

We feel sorry for ourselves, justifying our frustrations by playing more and poorly.

Passing the buck of blame is a pervasive coping mechanism, and how many people handle difficult emotions.

As an excellent article at grouporttherapy.com highlights, ‘this desire to justify our sadness can cause people to become so consumed with their feelings of sorrow that they fail to take constructive action to improve their situation.’

This self-destructive feedback loop causes players to play too much poker when tilted, which can be deadly at the poker table.

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Family

If you spend an unhealthy amount of time playing poker, a string of bad results or long sessions without a break can affect your mood. This impact will affect your interactions with your family.

You will often see them when you stop playing when emotions are the rawest.

If you cannot leave the drama at the table, it will likely cause poker-related arguments, another sign of a problem.

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Family
Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Family

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Social Health

Your relationship with poker can directly impact the quality of your social life. Poker schedules are often very anti-social because the best games run in the evenings and at weekends.

Most of your non-poker friends will be looking to hang out during these time slots.

It's critical to strike a balance between your poker playing and your social life. If you play too much or are unwilling to skip a session, it's a sign that your social life may be taking a backseat.

This situation might not seem like a big deal, but many studies have identified the positive mental health benefits of socialising.

Healthcare giant Bupa, for example, reports that people who have strong social connections tend to have the following positive mental strengths:

  • Lower rates of depression and anxiety
  • Are more resilient to stress

These mental states positively impact performance in a 'mind sport' like poker.

Maintaining a healthy social life is essential for online poker players, in particular, because they spend a lot of time alone.

Poker can be pretty stressful, especially when down-swinging.

Spending so much time in solitude makes it less likely that someone will notice that you are struggling and intervene.

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Social Health
Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Social Health

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Weaknesses

A healthy relationship with poker will enable you to be more responsive to criticism and impartial in your hand reviews. You will also be able to identify your strengths and weaknesses more easily.

The high-pressure poker environment amplifies symptoms, making it easier to diagnose any shortfalls.

This situation can help you to improve both on and off the tables.

Healthy Poker Personal Relationship – Physical

An unhealthy relationship with poker can cause physical issues, along with socially-linked mental health problems.

People who have no other hobbies or interests or take insufficient breaks, for example, are more likely to develop poor posture, increasing their risk of back, neck, and knee aches.

Some studies suggest that sitting too long can increase your risk of heart disease and cause circulatory issues.

It’s essential to remember that your relationship with poker is your responsibility.

Do your best to maintain a healthy balance, and you will see great results on and off the tables.

Dan O’Callaghan is a professional poker player who got his start in the online poker world as danshreddies. He has racked up over $290K in online earnings.